It's been over a year and a half since my last cleanse. I really did feel great after that and I want that feeling again. This year has been lots of booze, coffee, and cigarettes coupled with a desk job and overeating. Yetch! So in the name of balance, I am committing 3% of my year towards another extreme. Yesterday was my first day with no salt water flush. I think my body knows what's up; I just slept and slept.
Today I was reminded of how unpleasant the SWF can be but I am looking forward to the day at work.
Aug 6, 2010
Jan 7, 2009
Day 4, I made it?
It almost seems like I skated here on delirium and vegetating have delivered me to the point beyond the dreaded first three days. Most people, blogs, web sites, and other information indicates that the first three days are the hardest. For me, the second day has been the worst by far.
I set my alarm for 6am today and got up at 6:18 to make the salt water flush. We're leaving around 8:10 so I wanted to give my body ample time before the 40 minute car ride.
We almost went off the road in a never before experienced rodeo in the bronco. That thing has worn down snow tires, and 4wd. It never slips. Except for today. The wind was really up and the snow was whisping all over the roads.
I felt great most of the day and wondered why. I still hadn't had not passed any notable monsters that looked like they had been in there since some cheeseburger eating contest from my teens. There is a steady flow of specks though. Kind of dissapointing.
We went to the bar again after work and I busted out the complete kit to mix up some juice right there. It looked like I was making mojitos or something. It's strangely easy to hang out with people that are drinking and smoking. Normally I would be pulling my eyes out if I was the DD and trying to quit smoking. Let's hope that I don't have to stay on this fast to stay off the grog for a few months.
I drank my tea and went to sleep around 10:30.
I set my alarm for 6am today and got up at 6:18 to make the salt water flush. We're leaving around 8:10 so I wanted to give my body ample time before the 40 minute car ride.
We almost went off the road in a never before experienced rodeo in the bronco. That thing has worn down snow tires, and 4wd. It never slips. Except for today. The wind was really up and the snow was whisping all over the roads.
I felt great most of the day and wondered why. I still hadn't had not passed any notable monsters that looked like they had been in there since some cheeseburger eating contest from my teens. There is a steady flow of specks though. Kind of dissapointing.
We went to the bar again after work and I busted out the complete kit to mix up some juice right there. It looked like I was making mojitos or something. It's strangely easy to hang out with people that are drinking and smoking. Normally I would be pulling my eyes out if I was the DD and trying to quit smoking. Let's hope that I don't have to stay on this fast to stay off the grog for a few months.
I drank my tea and went to sleep around 10:30.
Day 3, Tranquil, Solitary, Bacony
I woke up at 8am and Corey had already left with his dog, Busa. I carefully mixed the salt water mixture and brought it to a simmer while stirring it gently. I wanted to be sure that all of the salt had been absorbed into the water before throwing it into my stomach. I did a simple Google search and read up on different methods. Please note that I am trying to stay as close to the book method as possible.
I waited for the flush to happen and everything was much less violent than the day before. I drank some juice and felt strong. I was intent on doing nothing today. I sat down and watched a few episodes of BBC America's "Robin Hood". It is low budget and reasonably well written (even though the story line is already laid out) but still entertaining.
I decided that I needed to move around a bit so I went to go re-organize my things that I had hidden in the storage shed for our friends visit. Instead I found the power supply that I had ordered a month ago and decided to fix the desktop machine. The desktop machine has Fallout 3 on it and I had to give it a whirl.
My house mate decided to cook breakfast around noon which for him means bacon and eggs. Bacon smells so good that I'm certain there is no way it can be bad for you. Perhaps the nitrates are but the bacon itself, in its pure natural form, must be good for the human body.
He left the house smokey with bacon. I sent out an APB which raised the terror level to "Orange?" then I went to work. I turned off the heater. I opened the front and the back doors to let in the freezing (22F) air into the house. I lit some nag chompa incense and went waving it around the house like some yogi.
I shut myself in my room for a while letting the cold cleanse the house. I shut everything up again and turned the heater back on and then went back to Fallout 3. Three hours later I was "bonking" or running out of energy.
I went to the kitchen and only had four lemons left. Would it be enough until I got into town tomorrow? Always buy too many lemons.
I had almost 8 oz of lemon juice so I used 8 oz of maple syrup and filled my 64 oz growler the ingredients and water. I find it ironic that I drink a growler it out of a growler from my favorite brewery.
I drank some juice and did a few chores before I laid down on the floor where I sleep and started watching "Robin Hood" again. Nine o'clock seemed to come so quickly. Corey returned home and I fell asleep at 10pm without drinking the tea that I had brewed. Fortunately I am a terrible sleeper and I awoke at midnight to have the tea before going back to sleep.
I waited for the flush to happen and everything was much less violent than the day before. I drank some juice and felt strong. I was intent on doing nothing today. I sat down and watched a few episodes of BBC America's "Robin Hood". It is low budget and reasonably well written (even though the story line is already laid out) but still entertaining.
I decided that I needed to move around a bit so I went to go re-organize my things that I had hidden in the storage shed for our friends visit. Instead I found the power supply that I had ordered a month ago and decided to fix the desktop machine. The desktop machine has Fallout 3 on it and I had to give it a whirl.
My house mate decided to cook breakfast around noon which for him means bacon and eggs. Bacon smells so good that I'm certain there is no way it can be bad for you. Perhaps the nitrates are but the bacon itself, in its pure natural form, must be good for the human body.
He left the house smokey with bacon. I sent out an APB which raised the terror level to "Orange?" then I went to work. I turned off the heater. I opened the front and the back doors to let in the freezing (22F) air into the house. I lit some nag chompa incense and went waving it around the house like some yogi.
I shut myself in my room for a while letting the cold cleanse the house. I shut everything up again and turned the heater back on and then went back to Fallout 3. Three hours later I was "bonking" or running out of energy.
I went to the kitchen and only had four lemons left. Would it be enough until I got into town tomorrow? Always buy too many lemons.
I had almost 8 oz of lemon juice so I used 8 oz of maple syrup and filled my 64 oz growler the ingredients and water. I find it ironic that I drink a growler it out of a growler from my favorite brewery.
I drank some juice and did a few chores before I laid down on the floor where I sleep and started watching "Robin Hood" again. Nine o'clock seemed to come so quickly. Corey returned home and I fell asleep at 10pm without drinking the tea that I had brewed. Fortunately I am a terrible sleeper and I awoke at midnight to have the tea before going back to sleep.
Jan 5, 2009
Day 2, Squirting From Both Ends
I woke up at 4 am really dehydrated but luckily I had a bottle of water right next to me. I went back to the place that is in between dreams and awake for a couple more hours.
I live on the western side of a mountain in the Rockies. I got up at 6am and I could see the sun peaking over the ridge and lighting up the valley to the west.
I would be heading into town with my friends and I didn't want to be dealing with the aftermath of the salt water flush. So I put it off until I got into town at 9. This didn't feel comfortable somehow. It's not that I had a turtle head poking out or anything. It just wasn't comfortable.
I arrived at Corey's office and immediately made the salt water mix. I heated it in the microwave. I think I mixed it too strong and I felt sick after drinking the first 16oz (1 pint). I had a mental huddle over whether or not to drink the second 16oz. I talked myself into drinking it. I started to feel cold and a stronger nausea. I was feeling dehydrated so I drank a cup of cold water. In hind sight it should have been warm water.
Just barely making it to the sink I vomited three times. Warm salt water isn't that unpleasant coming out of you. A lot better than some other things.
Tips for not ending up in my predicament:
Try not to swallow any air while drinking the salt water.
Always measure exactly.
Never dump cold water in your belly while there is salt water there.
My first BM of the day came with a revoltingly heinous yet satiating stench. After which I had many *maybe 10?) more BMs after the great "expelation" session of 10:30am.
After yacking I felt much better until... I drove some friends to pick up lunch for the office but I had to order some food for other people as well. I didn't feel like I wanted to eat the food so much as it just put me in a bad mood. It may have been the kid that cut in line or it may have been the smell of great sub sandwiches. Either way I wish that I had waited outside in the fresh (freezing) air.
I read wikipedia for the next hour and then went to get more lemons as I was out! Never run out of lemons. Figure out how many lemons you need and then double it. Don't buy your lemons at whole foods out of season. They are twice as expensive as the other local cooperatives and health food stores. Vitamin Cottage and Mountain Peoples Market Coop both had lemons for $1.59/lb during January while the bag of 5 lemons at whole foods was $5.
I made a fresh batch of juice and drove my friends to the airport. Another thing to avoid, at least during the first three days, is any stressful situation. Driving in traffic is normally not a problem for me but by the time I got back to the office I was ready for some sleep.
It was closing time though and we were headed to THE BAR! I normally love to go to the bar after a long day of pooping. Today was a rare exception but I was determined not to allow myself to be a wuss. It was only an hour usually anyways.
I think my delirium made the time go faster. I had another BM and washed out my nose ring with the anti-bacterial soap at the brew pub.
We headed up the mountain towards the house and I felt like sleeping right then. I managed to stay awake until midnight when I drank my senna tea and passed out.
I live on the western side of a mountain in the Rockies. I got up at 6am and I could see the sun peaking over the ridge and lighting up the valley to the west.
I would be heading into town with my friends and I didn't want to be dealing with the aftermath of the salt water flush. So I put it off until I got into town at 9. This didn't feel comfortable somehow. It's not that I had a turtle head poking out or anything. It just wasn't comfortable.
I arrived at Corey's office and immediately made the salt water mix. I heated it in the microwave. I think I mixed it too strong and I felt sick after drinking the first 16oz (1 pint). I had a mental huddle over whether or not to drink the second 16oz. I talked myself into drinking it. I started to feel cold and a stronger nausea. I was feeling dehydrated so I drank a cup of cold water. In hind sight it should have been warm water.
Just barely making it to the sink I vomited three times. Warm salt water isn't that unpleasant coming out of you. A lot better than some other things.
Tips for not ending up in my predicament:
Try not to swallow any air while drinking the salt water.
Always measure exactly.
Never dump cold water in your belly while there is salt water there.
My first BM of the day came with a revoltingly heinous yet satiating stench. After which I had many *maybe 10?) more BMs after the great "expelation" session of 10:30am.
After yacking I felt much better until... I drove some friends to pick up lunch for the office but I had to order some food for other people as well. I didn't feel like I wanted to eat the food so much as it just put me in a bad mood. It may have been the kid that cut in line or it may have been the smell of great sub sandwiches. Either way I wish that I had waited outside in the fresh (freezing) air.
I read wikipedia for the next hour and then went to get more lemons as I was out! Never run out of lemons. Figure out how many lemons you need and then double it. Don't buy your lemons at whole foods out of season. They are twice as expensive as the other local cooperatives and health food stores. Vitamin Cottage and Mountain Peoples Market Coop both had lemons for $1.59/lb during January while the bag of 5 lemons at whole foods was $5.
I made a fresh batch of juice and drove my friends to the airport. Another thing to avoid, at least during the first three days, is any stressful situation. Driving in traffic is normally not a problem for me but by the time I got back to the office I was ready for some sleep.
It was closing time though and we were headed to THE BAR! I normally love to go to the bar after a long day of pooping. Today was a rare exception but I was determined not to allow myself to be a wuss. It was only an hour usually anyways.
I think my delirium made the time go faster. I had another BM and washed out my nose ring with the anti-bacterial soap at the brew pub.
We headed up the mountain towards the house and I felt like sleeping right then. I managed to stay awake until midnight when I drank my senna tea and passed out.
Day 1, Sunday
0800
I woke up and had a normal BM. I live at altitude and sleep next to a fire so I drank water until I urinated to ensure that I was properly hydrated before doing the Salt Water Flush.
0900
Commenced 30 minute process of consuming 2 pint glasses (32oz) full of warm salt water. (1 Tablespoon per pint)
1000
I had two or more BMs between 10am and 10:30.
1100
I was at breakfast with some friends and we were talking about the fast when someone pointed out that my lemonade looked a bit thin. I had mixed the lemonade too weak. This may be why I felt hungry after walking around town with my friends.
1300
Returned home and made new batch of proper lemonade. drank 12 oz.
drank 48 more oz of lemonade before bed.
drank senna midnight
I woke up and had a normal BM. I live at altitude and sleep next to a fire so I drank water until I urinated to ensure that I was properly hydrated before doing the Salt Water Flush.
0900
Commenced 30 minute process of consuming 2 pint glasses (32oz) full of warm salt water. (1 Tablespoon per pint)
1000
I had two or more BMs between 10am and 10:30.
1100
I was at breakfast with some friends and we were talking about the fast when someone pointed out that my lemonade looked a bit thin. I had mixed the lemonade too weak. This may be why I felt hungry after walking around town with my friends.
1300
Returned home and made new batch of proper lemonade. drank 12 oz.
drank 48 more oz of lemonade before bed.
drank senna midnight
The Day Before
Was a normal day of brewery tours and normal food.
I had an egg sandwich for breakfast, a breakfast burrito for lunch, and a chicken burrito for dinner.
I had about 5 pints of beer over the course of the day and I was wondering if I was in the best shape to start a cleansing fast. I decided that there was never a bad time to start as long as I was in good health and not already dehydrated.
I drank the Senna tea around 2am and laid awake reading until 3am.
I had an egg sandwich for breakfast, a breakfast burrito for lunch, and a chicken burrito for dinner.
I had about 5 pints of beer over the course of the day and I was wondering if I was in the best shape to start a cleansing fast. I decided that there was never a bad time to start as long as I was in good health and not already dehydrated.
I drank the Senna tea around 2am and laid awake reading until 3am.
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